Conflict in any relationship is inevitable. You both have needs and sometimes they may not line up. However, when arguments happen, it’s important to fight fairly, as unfairly executed arguments often leave emotional scars that last. These scars from unfair arguments, in which past perceived transgressions are brought up and accusations are repeated time and time again, have a cumulative effect. So, these emotional scars build on one another over time and ultimately begin hurting the relationship, even when things are going well.

To prevent these scars from happening in your relationship, stick to assertive communication skills and the present. Describe the situation, assert your view or feelings without blaming the other person, and state what you need, with an attitude receptive to your partner’s views and needs, as well as compromise. Stick to the facts and what’s happening here and now. This will aid you and your partner to communicate more effectively without unnecessarily contributing to emotional scarring. Rather, communicating in this effective manner will increase the intimacy and closeness you feel with your partner, building the relationship with enhanced mutual respect and warmth. If you both take the time to express your wants and needs in kind, assertive ways, your relationship can only continue to grow and blossom over the years to come.